family + friends = Fands!
I just made that up, literally. I kow it's lame but you'll understand once you read this...IF you read this.
So. Last night was a very eventful night for reasons that will go unmentioned. However, my friends were there with and for me the entire time though. Which got me thinking:
Everyone says friends are so important 'cause you need someone to talk to and share love with and yada yada. Which is, in part, true. But in reality, you can talk to your family like that. Sure most people don't and some don't have a family. However, you (or at least I) reach a point in a friendship where you share love for your friends. And, in my opinion, that love makes them familiy. They have all the qualities that a member of your family has and you see them [if you attend the same school of course] almost everyday! As you do your family. My point is, I rely on my family for a number of things including support, love, guidance, and help and I [maybe not "you"] rely on my friends for the same. My friends are my family.
Maybe I am just going along with what everyone else already says, but I just realized it for myself. I wanted to write this. Do you agree?
whEre were You?
Where were you today when I needed you??
You were no where to be found. Today when I found out that my cousin was killed over a senseless argument with her mentally messed up boyfriend? And, more upsetting, that her TWO daughters were in the house when it happened? I looked for you, not so much to cry to, but at least to complain to. whY is this the 4th family member I've lost in 2 months? There is H A T E in my city [{now more than ever maybe}] and everywhere, really. Now that I need YoU, I can't find you. You don't even care...
My head knows this, but my heart won't accept it. I feel like my head and my heart are making me crazy. I say crazy 'cause one day I'll be over your bullsh-t and ready to ignore you and treat you in the same heartless manner you treat me. But then, with enough "i love you"s and "i miss you"s I'm right back to folding to your every request.
I don't quite understand it so I wouldn''t blame you if you're confused. Just know that I needed you, today like other days, and you weren't here.
nothing speciaL
so i have this best friend.
dont get me wrong, shes honestly the best friend i've had, but she always avoids telling me her deep thoughts.
she cares enough to start a conversation,
inquire about my feelings,
relationships,
family,
...
but it used to be that when i would try to reciprocate the concern, she would close up, put her guard up or something.
so we got past the surface, and she now admits to her feelings. HOWEVER, when i try to really understand and ask questions, really grasp the situation, she reverts back to closing up.
like i said, this is "nothing speciaL"
just a failed attempt at reciprocation i suppose...